My girlfriend figured out who you are.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
