Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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