I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Randomize
