And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
