he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
