Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
