I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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