my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
