I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Randomize
