I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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