Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize