Can Purell be used as lube?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
