It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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