Porn is love you can see.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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