he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
