I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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