i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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