he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
My cat gives me a boner
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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