Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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