Where did you get a picture of my penis
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I understand Curling. That high.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
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