Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
