Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Randomize
