her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
