69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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