whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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