I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize