the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
