I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
