This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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