Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
