Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
