gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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