She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I am spending my child support on dildos
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize