Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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