thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
