you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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