I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
