Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize