franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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