my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
