There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
