Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
