Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
