So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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