...so i touched it.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
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