apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
