She's JV to your varsity
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Randomize
