I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
