Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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