Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
