Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
