I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize