You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
