if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
