hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
There are leaves in my underwear?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
