Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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