Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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