similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
