you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
