Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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