vagina is talking i cant
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
