idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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