My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
