oh god the rape fog is back!
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
