Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
she peed on how many people?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
