Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
