we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
