his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
