i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
