he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
