All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
