i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
