she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
