Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
