I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
